How to have a better hookup?

After last semester’s “Orgasm? Yes Please!” performance, we received feedback that you wanted to learn more about communicating about sex during hookups.  In our program, we showed couples in committed relationships working out how to have safer & better sex.  Y’all let us know that you want to see how that works in less committed relationships, too.
What are the difficult conversations with hookups? What do you wish you could express? How could you picture your hookups being safer and sexier? Your questions will help us bring you a fresh, updated OYP in Fall 2013!
Let us know what you think on this anonymous survey.
Stay tuned to the Healthy Heels Blog for information on the upcoming Orgasm? Yes, Please performance! Put it on your calendar: Friday October 25, 2013 7-9pm.

Give Yourself a Hand: Part Two (Female Masturbation!)

Our guest writer is a UNC graduate student in public health who focuses on sexual health and the social factors that influence it.


Female masturbation! In Give Yourself A Hand: Part One, I explored varying perspectives on female masturbation throughout history and some of its less obvious benefits. Here, I offer an introduction into its mechanics for those female-bodied readers newer to the solo no-pants dance. Because I wanted you to be informed by more than my thoughts and experiences, I solicited the input of lady friends across the country. To those wonderful women who opened their bedroom doors to us, I offer my sincerest thanks.

Masturbation can be defined as self-stimulation of genitalia for sexual pleasure. I like this broad definition, because it reminds us that there are no rules about how and with whom you masturbate, and that masturbation does not need to result in orgasm in order to be pleasurable. Still, in the varied forms that female masturbation takes, there are a few key things to keep in mind:

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Lingering questions from “Orgasm? Yes Please!”

Your Questions from “Orgasm? Yes, Please!” 

We had a great time hosting “Orgasm? Yes Please!” a couple of Fridays ago to a rowdy audience of over 300 UNC students! Big thanks for The Daily Tarheel for sending some love our way, to our co-sponsors Project Dinah, UNC Panhellenic Council, and to our collaborators on stage, Interactive Theater Carolina.

During the presentation, the audience texted in their anonymous questions. We didn’t have time to answer everything at the event, so we’re here today to  address some of your questions that we missed. Some of them we’ve blogged about before!

You asked, “G-spot, fact or fiction?”

Recent research has shown that “even though the majority of women believe that the G-spot exists, even if they don’t have one, we’ve all been fooled.  Sort of.” Read more!

You asked, “Is having sex while on your period really an option? How is that sanitary?”  

It’s entirely a matter of taste, and “if you are worried about the aesthetics of it, you can always throw down a towel first and then go for it!” Read more!

You asked, “Are Trojans the most effective condom? 

All condoms whose labels indicate they are for sexual use (aka, not “novelty items”) are required to pass the same tests for efficacy as they are “regarded by the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) as Class II medical devices, a designation that includes pregnancy tests and powered wheelchairs.  Products in this category have to meet special labeling requirements and performance standards.”  Read more!

You asked, “Are STI tests on campus free?”

The Sexual Wellness Specialists (formerly CHECS)  office offers a free blood HIV test! Otherwise, the price depends on your insurance. Campus Health website has information on pricing without insurance! Read more!

Free Oraquick rapid test will be available on World AIDS Day, being celebrated 11/30/12 on the UNC Campus. Free testing will be available on a walk-in basis from 11am-5pm in the UNC Student Union.

You asked, “Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or one horse size duck?”

You know, I’m going to have to think about that one.

Stay tuned for more! We’ll be answering other questions from “Orgasm? Yes Please!” in upcoming blog posts.

“Why do I feel pain during sex?”

Sex is supposed to feel good! Sex might not be earth-shattering every time and that’s just part of life, but sometimes penetrative vaginal sex can be downright physically painful. Why? There’s no one single answer. A variety of physical and emotional issues can play a role. Here are some possibilities to consider.
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More Orgasm Answers?! Yes, Please!

Did you attend “Orgasms? Yes, Please!”? Were you not able to make it, but wish you had? Never fear! We are answering questions from the event on our blog so everyone can get the answers. For the event itself we focused mostly on women’s bodies and, unless otherwise stated, all of our information directed towards “partners” is applicable to anyone who partners with women. Because there were so many questions asked, we will have several blog entries dedicated to answering questions.

Is it possible to have more than one orgasm?

Yes! Multiple orgasms refer to orgasms that happen one after another, sometimes only seconds apart. Multiple orgasms can happen with a partner, alone and sometimes sex toys might be involved. For many women, stimulating the clitoris immediately after have an orgasm is not a very pleasurable experience. This is because the clitoris becomes very sensitive after orgasm. If you are interested in trying to have multiple orgasms, try taking a short break and let the clitoris rest a few minutes. During the resting period you and your partner can kiss, touch, talk, or whatever feels good. When you and your partner are ready (or if you are having a self-loving session), you can resume clitoral stimulation and try to have another orgasm. With all of this being said, there is nothing wrong with women who cannot have or have not had multiple orgasms. Continue reading

How to Have Great Sexual Health

As we enter a new school year, here are some ideas on how to have great sexual health:

1. Communication! Different things are sexy to different people and the best way to find out what your partner likes is to ask. It can be difficult to talk about sex, but communication can also be hot. Plus, it might just turn on your partner. Learning about intimacy and your own sexuality is a lifelong process; so don’t expect that you’ll get everything perfect all the time. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues from your partner. Tell your partner what makes you feel good and also what doesn’t. Finally, be patient with yourself and your partner.

A huge part of communication is consent. At Counseling and Wellness we like to stress the importance of talking about consent when you and your partner have your clothes on, that way no one feels rushed and everyone can voice any excitements or concerns they might have. And please remember, North Carolina law states that all parties must always give clear and sober consent for any sexual activity

2. Protection! Use a latex or polyurethane barrier all the time to prevent sexually transmitted infections. If you are trying to prevent pregnancy, use some sort of birth control. You can visit Campus Health Services for free latex or polyurethane barriers and you can make an appointment with your medical provider to get a prescription for birth control.

3. Have fun! Only you know when you are ready for sex. Listen to yourself and have fun!

Those are ideas for having great, consensual sex this year!

Discovering the World of Lube

Have you ever checked out the local Walgreens’ “sexual wellness” section? It exhibits condoms, vibrators, and LUBE galore! I’ve never seen such an amazing display at other regular stores.  While I was expressing my amazement that they sold Reality condoms, my friend was voicing her share of astonishment in the lubricant section, asking what’s up with all the different kind of lubes. How do you pick one?!

I can confidently say that there is a lube for everyone. Water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, warming, cooling, menthol, vegan, organic, pareben-free, flavored, long-lasting, silky, etc.  You name it! Multiply it by dozens of different brands, and you have an overwhelming selection. So which lube is the right one?

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The Pleasure of the Journey

As you may or may not have heard or seen, the Sexual Wellness Specialists (formerly CHECS) and Project Dinah recently held an event entitled “Orgasm? Yes Please!” As one of the CHECS counselors, I was tasked with standing in front of a crowd of nearly 350 students alongside my fantastic co-workers and fellow bloggers David Andrews and Laetitia Lemoine. Over the 4 months leading up to the event, we put countless hours in to writing the script, planning the event, and rehearsing every line. At the end of the night though, after the crowd had stopped laughing and clapping and all the chairs stood empty, I stood and wondered about the irony of the evening. I reflected particularly on the question that I heard so many times in the months leading up to the event, the curious and soft-spoken question – “Why exactly are you having a program on female orgasm?”

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