Connecting with others during college, and especially stressful study season, has often been viewed as a distraction from success. But recent research is showing the clear benefits of friends to both your personal well-being and academic success. Bonus: both you and your buddies reap the rewards of friendship!
Here are ways you can help each other succeed during Finals Season:
Support each other’s work.
You can help your friends in so many ways – and doing so will help you too!
- Use study groups to amplify your learning.
- Teach each other the information you’ve learned.
- Quiz each other on information you’ll need to know.
- Proofread each other’s essays.
- Hold each other accountable to study goals.
Affirm each other.
Celebrate efforts together. After y’all have been studying for a while, find something healthy and fun to do together to celebrate being done studying. As a reminder: focus on the effort rather than the outcome. An A on a test is great, but everyone will feel more supported when others notice the time put into studying instead of the grade received.
Support healthy behaviors.
When you celebrate study sessions or the end of finals, do it in a healthy way. Move your body together – go for bike rides, walk and talk, play a round of golf – whatever sounds fun to everyone. Be body positive and food positive – no body- or food-shaming allowed! Encourage sleep and find ways to help your friends sleep well. Earplugs, white noise machines, and light-blocking window shades or eye masks are helpful gifts to friends or roommates during finals and always!
Avoid stress competition.
We know the typical answer to “how are you doing?” – especially during finals – is “stressed” or “busy.” But this perpetuates the idea that to survive at UNC means being constantly stressed. A better answer? “I have been working hard.” Or tell your friend something fun you recently did and asking them what they’ve been doing to take a break.
Listen.
Feeling genuinely heard and accepted is one of our most important needs, and it doesn’t go away during finals. Providing empathy and acceptance is one of the most soothing things one can do for another.
As the listener:
- Try to give your full attention.
- Show that you are listening by maintaining eye contact.
- Use body language to show you’re paying attention. Nodding your head and mirroring your friend’s feelings with your facial expressions can make people feel heard.
- Listen non-judgmentally – meaning resist the impulse to judge who is right or wrong, good or bad, should or should not have done something.
- Try not to make assumptions.
- Reflect back what you hear and ask the person with, “did I get it?”
- Ask, “What would help?”
- Don’t be too quick to “fix” the problem or give advice. Make sure you show you understand what the other person’s needs and feelings are first.
Be like family.
What did your family do to support you during high-stress times? Some ideas:
- Cook each other dinner.
- Ask if your friend needs anything when you head to the store.
- Invite your friend to join you on study breaks.
- Walk together to get to study locations.
- Make your shared living spaces environments that are great for studying and connecting.
- Find healthy ways to celebrate when classes or a big final are over.
- Be authentic with each other.
Ultimately, you help create the vibe on campus during finals and the community you need to be successful. We guarantee that supporting your friends and the benefits you’ll reap in return will be worth it.
This blog was written by Sara Stahlman, Marketing and Communication Coordinator and revised for finals.
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